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Dear!

Yes, you’re right, well done, I’m angry at you. Why? The reasons are quite simple:

1) You’re immature 

2) You don’t have the balls to say anything to me

3) You think I’m going to ‘trigger’ you because I have problems (sorry but did I miss the nights you spent crying over ridiculous boys?)

4) You’d walk out on me if I was upset

5) You have absolutely no empathy for other people and completely disregard other peoples feelings

6) You vented to my housemate and didn’t even bother talking to me.

7) You don’t know anything about mental health, especially if you think that it would impact you directly, it has nothing to do with you, it’s about the other person. 

8) You’re inconsistant and don’t don’t realise the gravity of important situations

9) You really hurt me and upset me

I’m not going to approach you directly, this is your mess, you deal with it before you start losing friends. Talk to me when you feel like being an adult.

frmbhndthchr:

… our daily dose of , in cool shades

frmbhndthchr:

… our daily dose of , in cool shades

(Source: meddymadz, via iamheathcliff)

Feels like…

He’s too good for me. I know that sounds all self-depricating and modest, but it just feels like he always has to put up with me. My moods, my issues, my problems. I’m just scared that I don’t deserve such kindness and patience. I’m afraid one day he’s going to wake up and realise he can do so much better. Someone more attractive, funny, happy, carefree.

I wish I was that person.

Nights Are the Worst.

It’s quarter to 4 and I still can’t sleep. 

I’ve been getting better, but lately I’ve relapsed in every sense of the word. Insomnia, mood, food…it’s funny how food rhymes with mood. The words are so connected they might as well be the same. The lower the mood, the lower the food.

I don’t know how I can get better when everything around me is starting to get worse and worse. Rock bottom is coming again and it will be deeper and more brutal than last time. Because this time mortality will be the card that’s played. Not my own. Although sometimes I think that’s what I’m facing when I’m alone in the middle of the night and the panic sets in. The panicked struggle to keep going, to keep living.

I don’t know how I will react nowadays. I think that’s the scariest part. The fear of the unknown future self. I don’t know how I’ll move on and keep going, will I stick to old habits? Or will I be new and strong?

Dear!

Yes, you’re right, well done, I’m angry at you. Why? The reasons are quite simple:

1) You’re immature 

2) You don’t have the balls to say anything to me

3) You think I’m going to ‘trigger’ you because I have problems (sorry but did I miss the nights you spent crying over ridiculous boys?)

4) You’d walk out on me if I was upset

5) You have absolutely no empathy for other people and completely disregard other peoples feelings

6) You vented to my housemate and didn’t even bother talking to me.

7) You don’t know anything about mental health, especially if you think that it would impact you directly, it has nothing to do with you, it’s about the other person. 

8) You’re inconsistant and don’t don’t realise the gravity of important situations

9) You really hurt me and upset me

I’m not going to approach you directly, this is your mess, you deal with it before you start losing friends. Talk to me when you feel like being an adult.

frmbhndthchr:

… our daily dose of , in cool shades

frmbhndthchr:

… our daily dose of , in cool shades

(Source: meddymadz, via iamheathcliff)

(Source: maudit, via iamheathcliff)

Feels like…

He’s too good for me. I know that sounds all self-depricating and modest, but it just feels like he always has to put up with me. My moods, my issues, my problems. I’m just scared that I don’t deserve such kindness and patience. I’m afraid one day he’s going to wake up and realise he can do so much better. Someone more attractive, funny, happy, carefree.

I wish I was that person.

Nights Are the Worst.

It’s quarter to 4 and I still can’t sleep. 

I’ve been getting better, but lately I’ve relapsed in every sense of the word. Insomnia, mood, food…it’s funny how food rhymes with mood. The words are so connected they might as well be the same. The lower the mood, the lower the food.

I don’t know how I can get better when everything around me is starting to get worse and worse. Rock bottom is coming again and it will be deeper and more brutal than last time. Because this time mortality will be the card that’s played. Not my own. Although sometimes I think that’s what I’m facing when I’m alone in the middle of the night and the panic sets in. The panicked struggle to keep going, to keep living.

I don’t know how I will react nowadays. I think that’s the scariest part. The fear of the unknown future self. I don’t know how I’ll move on and keep going, will I stick to old habits? Or will I be new and strong?

Dear!
Feels like…
Nights Are the Worst.

About:

Past, Future and never present. The life of the absent minded.

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